So we should all have a few games in our inventory that we play or have played that hold little or no credibility amongst the gaming elite. Maybe you’re a sucker for Barbies Horse Adventures? Or perhaps you can’t get bare to part with any of your 1000 copies of your E.T game you dug from the landfill? I feel like I need to release some demons and share with the world some of my gaming secrets with you all. Perhaps I will lose all credibility (if I had any) but maybe, just maybe, I am not alone in my secret love for some of the biggest turkeys in gaming history.
One of my first confessions is that I absolutely love yearly sports games. Yes, the ones that play exactly the same as last year but with different rosters. I play them religiously in the early hours so no-one can see me and always use a secondary profile so my console will not tell anyone I have ever touched such a game. NBA is usually my weakness, but I have been known to play FIFA and Tiger Woods too. I know it’s wrong and goes against everything I stand for as a seasoned gamer but I can’t help myself, perhaps I need therapy.
Confession number two is that despite my loathing of the CoD series I still play it. Even when I was a Halo fan boy I bought it and enjoyed it. I knew that it was throwaway gaming at its finest and didn’t change much each year (beyond different locations/time) but that didn’t stop me. When questioned about it because of my online presence I would make up excuses, like my friend came over and brought it, or would go as far as to blame family members. I think I blamed the cat once. Yes, it was everyones fault that I was playing Call of Duty except mine. I still play it to this day, I hate myself for it.
One of my guilty pleasures has to be I enjoy anything Disney related. I’m a 26 year old man and I enjoy Disney. There, I said it. I remember when all my friends were playing the latest Tony Hawk game I somehow was wasting my life away playing Disneys Skate Adventure. I remember the awkward conversations I had when I was pretending I was playing Tony Hawk instead. I once let slip when asked what my favorite character was, “Zurg” I replied. I mistakenly told them that ‘Andys bedroom’ was my favorite level too, before backtracking and insisting these were bonus levels when you get 100% completion in TH4. I’m not sure whether they believed me but the shame is out there now, sorry for lying if you’re reading this.
Another game I enjoyed which I shouldn’t of is Naughty Bear. I was obviously old enough to know better when this came out but did that stop me? Hell no. Nothing gave me more pleasure than to obtain ‘naughty points’. It’s repetitious missions filled me with joy and I loved fighting ninja bears. I even took a day off work to play this game, I pulled an all nighter and it got to 7am and I was due in for 9am. I went to sleep for an hour and played the game all the next day. I felt so dirty and ashamed of myself. I felt like I was turning in to Naughty Bear, I started to call people I dislike Major Chubby and chuckled to myself like it was a killer insult. I still play from time to time, alone in a darkened room with a locked door. IGN gave it a 3/10, I gave it my soul.
Have you got any confessions? Any games you are playing that you won’t talk about beyond your own four walls? Let me know I’m not alone!